A different kind of scared.

As a mother, I have worried about every little thing with both of my kids.  I worry that they will get a horrible desease or be kidnapped.  I worry that I can't give them enough time or toys or a swimming pool or everything they want.  I worry that I don't pay enough attention when they need me or that someone from school will hurt them and I won't be there to defend them and kiss them and make it better.  Until recently, however, I never worried like I do now  with my daughter.  She recently turned 18 and has asserted the fact that she is an adult.  I am fine with her making her own decisions and taking more responsibility, but it hit me today that I can't get a do-over with her now.  Any mistakes I made are stuck.  There is no tomorrow or next week or next year to change anything about her childhood.  It is what it is and I can only sit back and hope that she is not going to totally rebel against me and do everything that I have told her not to do.  And then I think of how much of that I did to my parents and I cannot say enough how sorry I am to my mom and dad.  This is the worst worrying I have ever done about my child, because, at this point I am helpless to stop anything.  . 

Dreams don't make noise

From The Little Prince, "Dreams don't make noise when they die."  We are an Irish/ Indian family.  Hard-headed and passionate and prone to drink a little too much on occasion.  Usually it is the occasion when a dream dies.  We dream a lot in our family and we marry dreamers also.  Anyone can introduce a dream to the family and the entire family will jump on the bandwagon with opinions and interjections and some nay-saying and if you can defend your dream to the end, you have accomplished something.  Unfortunately, for us, we have yet to see a dream to fruition, but I will raise my glass and toast to the noisiest family on the planet.  "Keep Dreaming!"

Why I call the Blog "A little Whack."

Apparently, in some spurt of smartassedness, I entered my "Description of Me" on Facebook, stating, "Seem normal, but a little whack."  My husband found this recently and can't get it out of his head.  It is true that this is how I see myself.  I do everything in my power to seem as normal as possible, but very few people in this world know how Whack I really am on the inside.  I hope that this blog will allow me the space to display my whack in a public way...it's kind of a therapy, I think.