A different kind of scared.

As a mother, I have worried about every little thing with both of my kids.  I worry that they will get a horrible desease or be kidnapped.  I worry that I can't give them enough time or toys or a swimming pool or everything they want.  I worry that I don't pay enough attention when they need me or that someone from school will hurt them and I won't be there to defend them and kiss them and make it better.  Until recently, however, I never worried like I do now  with my daughter.  She recently turned 18 and has asserted the fact that she is an adult.  I am fine with her making her own decisions and taking more responsibility, but it hit me today that I can't get a do-over with her now.  Any mistakes I made are stuck.  There is no tomorrow or next week or next year to change anything about her childhood.  It is what it is and I can only sit back and hope that she is not going to totally rebel against me and do everything that I have told her not to do.  And then I think of how much of that I did to my parents and I cannot say enough how sorry I am to my mom and dad.  This is the worst worrying I have ever done about my child, because, at this point I am helpless to stop anything.  .